Last week I met up with some old school friends, one evening, for a bit of a (child-free) catch up. Before the waiter had had a chance to politely interrupt us for the third time - on the vague off-chance that we might have glanced at the menu by then – the talk had turned to e-safety.
There seems to have been a recent spate of stories circulating about e-safety lapses. These included one about children, in their early teens ‘sexting’ one another. Apparently, sexting is the term for sending indecent texts or images. Although most of us around the table had only heard these stories second-hand, one of the mums, a teacher, confirmed that her school had had to deal with an incident of this nature recently.
There has been a small but nagging voice at the back of my mind about internet safety, for some time. My elder two boys spend quite a bit of time each week either on the computer or on their games consoles. Being the ages they are (both under ten) I tend to stay in the room when they’re online, but the conversation with my friends from the other evening has prompted me to take a serious look at what steps I should take, to avoid trouble in the future.
Whatever ages your children are, I personally think, the most important thing we, as parents, can do is keep ourselves informed about where the potential dangers lie. Once in the know, we can decide what action to take, whether it’s blocking unsuitable sites or just sitting down and having a good old-fashioned chat about the issues involved. At the same time it’s also key to get the balance right, between teaching your children to be aware and responsible, and being too alarmist.
With younger children there are lots practical things parents can do, such as using parental control systems on computers, consoles and mobiles.
Once children are in their teens, the whole situation can be trickier. With the threat of cyber bullying, vulnerability in chat-rooms and ‘sexting’, some parents might be tempted to take the view that a total clamp down would be the best route: no internet access on computer, consoles or phones. However, this approach could have pitfalls of its own. What teenager wants to be excluded from something all their peers are part of? On top of that, valuable skills that would otherwise be learned through online gaming and socialising - like confidence, communication and ICT skills - could be lost.
So, is there a way to make a virtue out of the necessity of staying e-safe? Getting a teenage son or daughter to take responsibility for his or her own safety could be a good learning opportunity. A recent report from Ofsted indicates that school children who are shown more trust when using the internet, can understand and manage the risks of new technologies better, than those using ‘locked down’ online systems. In the future, my kids will probably be better placed than me, to keep across all the technological advances and the dangers therein. So I’m hoping that by trusting my children and keeping lines of communication open, without being too intrusive, they’ll know they can turn to me if and when they ever come across situations, which make them feel uncomfortable.
Today, the 8th February is Safer Internet Day organised by Insafe, a Europe-wide network of organisations, to promote “safer and more responsible use of online technology and mobile phones, especially amongst children and young people across the world”. This year the focus is on online gaming and social networking. As well as a wealth of information available on the topic of e-safety online, many schools, libraries and councils can also offer practical help and advice, such as running short courses on the technology. My local council publish an internet safety guide for parents in leaflet form - you may find yours does too. If becoming e-safe seems daunting, a trip to your local library or council offices could be a good way to get started.
Flora Napier works for BBC Learning Scotland.